Starting all over again — and it’s gonna be rough…

as the song says. So, here we go…

I had been reading some body positive movement posts on Twitter for a while. One post in particular got me thinking. The post read something along the lines of — “there is no way for you to hate your body that doesn’t mean hating mine”. I understand the point that was being made, however, I was still bothered. My self-hatred both internal and external has been expertly crafted and curated over many years. It is all mine. I have never been comfortable in my own skin; never been pleased or even satisfied with my appearance. It has no bearing on my size. I didn’t like what I saw in the mirror when I wore a size 20. I had issues with it when I lost 117 lbs and was 125 lbs wearing a size 4 jean.

I have become a statistic. I regained all of the weight. There are several reasons for this, but the why isn’t relevant at this point. What is important is that I made myself a “resolution” to try to learn to be more comfortable in my own skin, to bring back some of my inner diva and maybe let her run a little more freely.

Part of the problem I was having last year is a lack of clothing. I had (still have) very little that fits me and even less that makes me feel at all good. I spent most of my life as a fat chick, but I used to have a much better wardrobe so I was able to feel better when I went out.

Thus the Moley Makeover began. It started with realizing that my makeup was 7-10 (or possibly more) years old. I have been doing a lot of research to find what will be the best products for someone with sensitive skin (thank you psoriasis) and extremely sensitive eyes (thank you sight loss and eyes that don’t water). First lesson learned, it is very difficult to find suitable options that aren’t budget busting.

Next up, building a wardrobe. I have stepped a toe — or five — into online shopping. Being short, fat and oddly shaped I have always been afraid to buy clothes and shoes without being able to try them on first. I’m trying to be braver. So far, it hasn’t worked out too badly. There have been some nice hits and only a couple of misses. Pants are still impossible to find, especially if one is trying to spend less than 100$ per pair. That is a rant for another time.

For now I think I’ve rambled on long enough. I conclude with the three good things list. Three things that make me happy/smile/grateful/etc. to try to always find something positive to focus on.

1. As much as I still miss Luna, I adore our goofy, weird, crazy puppy.

2. I have a Partner-in-Crime who responds “I don’t know yet” when asked what color he’s going to get his toes painted* and he didn’t even know he was getting a pedicure.

3. I have made it another turn around the sun and am feeling okay about it. 900 years is a long time to be kicking around.

What are your 3 good things?

(P.S. This was meant to be posted a week ago but a miserable bout of plague has hit me hard.)

*update: his toes are black with red and blue sparkles.

Good Things 7

1. Completed the task for today at work.
2. Inheriting a bunch of spiffy stuff from a friend who is moving away.  (Bittersweet.)
3. Got myself home from  work for the first time since the office moved.  (Ocelot’s been picking me up.)

How is everyone out there in the ether?

Good Things 6

(A day late.)

1. Beautiful warm day.
2. New strength training class.
3. ^  I lived to tell about it.

Good Things 5

1.  Productive at work.
2. Scary Smarties (orange and black)
3. John Carpenter’s Vampires

 

HAPPY HALLOWEEN FOLLOWFOLKS and otherand sundry!

Good Things 4

1. Long bath.
2. Quiet day.
3. Furbabies behaved.

 

Sometimes it can be short and sweet,

 

What about y’all?

Good Things 3

1. A clean desk.
2. Found my glasses.  (see above)
3. Luna spent part of the afternoon sleeping on the sofa.  Lately she’s been hanging out all day mostly hiding in her den, i.e. under the ocelot’s worktable.  So it’s nice to have her somewhat social.

 

Join in, it’s easier than you’d think.

Good Things 2

1.  Getting to go kickboxing again tonight.  (Kind of cheating with a repeat, but I’m still so excited to be back.)
2.  Hypo!  I get to have candy.  (Feeling a little perverse.)
3. Bright sunshine, decent temperature, appropriately dressed to not be too cold or warm; ideal conditions for the walk to and from the lab to get the first blood work of my fast done

What are your good things for today?

(They can be short and simple, I’m just hyper.)

Good Things 1.1

1. Finally getting to go back to class last night!  ((I know I said that before but wasn’t able to go.  Also it should have been posted yesterday, but scheduling fail.)
2. Still getting all of my exercises done despite waking up with a sore throat and back pain and calling in sick to work.
3. Moonlight Eclipse (color changing nail varnish)

Light when warm to dark when cold.

(I should learn how to resize photos.)

 

Please, play along.

3 Good Things

Somewhat inspired by something someone else incorporates, partly to get myself actually posting everyday and partially there are days when we could all use a “pick me up”, I am starting this.

I got this from a site I belonged to several years ago.  Everyday someone would start the thread and list 3 things.  The idea is to list things that made you happy or smile or were grateful for that day.  After a while it stopped being daily and became sporadic.

My goal is to put this up everyday and maybe bring out some interactivity from readers.

The Rules:

1. List three positive things.
2. Specific to that day.
3. Try to come up with different things each day.  (This isn’t ironclad, it can be difficult, especially on very bad days.)
4. If it involves a person or pet or the ilk, try to say specifically why.  Ex “my husband brought me flowers” instead of “my husband”.  (Again this can be hard sometimes.)I

Now without further ado (and because I need to get going)…

 

1. Getting to go into work and finding appropriate clothes that fit to wear.
2. Going back to the dojo tonight.
3. Even though it’s chilly, it’s a bright sunny day.

 

Anyone want to play along?